The Best Kind of Hanging Out

September 3, 2009 § 3 Comments

Today after work I made plans to have dinner and hang out with an old college friend and I must say, it was the best kind of hanging out.  It was the kind where you get a lot of catching up done but also do lots of interesting things that cost little to no money.  So wonderfully productive!  Even if I were a millionaire, I still think this would be the best kind of hanging out for me.

I have a friend, let’s call her J, who is so different than me but similar enough that we always have an awesome time.  Her interests and lifestyle are so different from mine but I love it!

Crazy J bouldering in some remote part of America

Crazy J bouldering in some remote part of America

For example, I went over to her place, got to meet the new, incredibly nice boyfriend, and ended up eating an all organic, vegetarian meal with ingredients I have never seen before.  One such ingredient was a kind of fermented soy tempura.  And the bf likes to drink tea made from fermented mushrooms.  It tasted like diluted vinegar with a little bit of carbonated water to me.  J and E (the bf) are both super smart, athletic, and white.  Haha.  I had to include the white.  They are awesome people and we even picked blackberries from their backyard so we could make a pie.  I have NEVER had a homemade pie before.  Asian people just don’t plant berries in their backyard and make a pie from it!  At least not from what I saw in Asia, and not from where I come from.

Dinner was a sauteed mix of American eggplant (my first time seeing someone cook that), onions, and tomatoes with the soybean tempura over some kind of rice.   Haha, if J saw this she would laugh at my ignorance.   I felt so healthy for eating that meal.

American eggplant

American eggplant

Anyway, while they were making dinner I was playing with the three dogs currently living in their backyard!  There were three big golden labs (I think) playing around in the backyard.  They were super cute but very mischievous.  One of the dogs kept on taunting the other, so much so that we had to break up some potential fights.  The dogs were really friendly though and made me want to steal one even though there is no way you could raise a big dog like that indoors.

After having dinner outside in the nice Bay Area weather and filling them in on what happened during my two month trip (E was particularly intrigued at how I was able to meet swing dancers in all the Asian countries), J and I went rock climbing.  J and E are avid rock climbers and have gone on 10 day camping/climbing trips where you can’t shower.  They are hardcore.  We just went to a local climbing gym this time.

I’m so weaksauce though and only climbed a few times and then went to bouldering (climbing a small wall without ropes).  I was surprised at how much better I got at bouldering without climbing in a long time.  The last time I went, I would fall off and hardly ever reach the top but I was able to reach the top every time!  I have to say, climbing is the best upper body, fun exercise you can do.  I have no freaking upper body strength.  I tried to do a pull-up and dangled aimlessly before moving to the assisted pull-up machine where I took off 70 pounds, and then was able to do a pull-up.  So SAD.

Afterwards we went back and just hung out until I got a ride home.  This wasn’t intentional, but I realized that J is my only good white friend.  And this might be too non pc to discuss on the Internet, but it’s true so I will write it.  lol.  I feel like the ideal in America is to have friends of every ethnicity but rarely does it ever play out that way.  And plus, people aren’t things to collect so if you really did have a mix-up like that, people would be suspicious of whether or not those relationships happened naturally or if you went out and strategized (which would be a no-no).  This reminds me of the episode of Samantha Who when Samantha takes her doorman, Frank, to dinner to prove to someone that she has black friends.

After moving to a city with a predominantly African-American presence, I realized that I have no good friends of African descent.  I mean, I know a couple people but we’re not the type of friends who call each other up and hang out randomly.  I would like to have more friends of other ethnicities but I also don’t want to force it.  And now that everyone is older, it’s harder to just randomly go up to a stranger and make friends (when you’re not a foreigner).  The other day I saw a quirky Caucasian college girl on the bus chatting with an older (maybe late 20s, early 30s) African-American woman and although they were both really friendly with each other, because of lack of commonalities (or maybe, lack of creativity on their part?) the conversation went like this:

QC=quirky chick
AL=African-American lady

QC: Soap is pretty cool
AL: Yeah I like soap
QC: I like Lever 2000
AL: Yeah, it smells good.  Lever 2000, Dove, Ivory….
QC: Yeah soap is rad.
AL: So what you listening to? Points to QC’s Ipod
QC:  Oh, just some really cool new age stuff.
AL: unconvincingly Oh.. new age.  Yeah, that stuff is cool.

AH!  The conversation just seemed so stilted and forced!  But who am I to judge?  I didn’t even try talking to them.  I like that they were able to do what I still find awkward and just be friendly and unsuspicious of strangers.  Towards the end of the ride they exchanged numbers and said that they would call each other and hang out.  …I wonder if that ever happened.

Sorry if this is boring to you.  Yesterday after some needling, Allan read and caught up on the last three pages of my blog.  When I asked him if he had fun, he just said it was alright.  And then when I proceeded to admit, “yeah, my blog is not that interesting.  I’m too pc to be really entertaining or interesting,” he just stood there.  GOSH! Sometimes I really detest that guy.  I mean, he doesn’t have to lie and say my blog is the most scintillating piece of work he has ever encountered in his life but SOME reaction would be nice!  Hahaha.  I guess now, it’s a good thing he doesn’t read this often.  Heheheeee.  Goodbye!


§ 3 Responses to The Best Kind of Hanging Out

  • Laura says:

    Hey all blogs get boring. It’s like a roller coaster of emotions you have to ride. Right now mine’s plateaued. I took some off of yours and went on a tangent. Cheers to artistic license and lack of creativity!!!

    (Does it make you mad that I’m not consoling you by saying Allan is wrong? LOL I’ve read your blog. I know why he’s silent…)

  • Caroline says:

    I hate people who call white people caucasians and black people african. ok hate might be too strong of a word, but highly detest… did you know some black people get offended by being called african-american?

    and man I start out strong when reading your entries and sort of like driving home, I know where I started and ended, but the middle is all blurrrrrry… hollerr!

  • Anjul says:

    Haha, most of this post could go straight to an entry on that “Stuff White People Like” blog.

    BTW, you know I have friends in several different ethnicities: Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Philippines, even Laotian at one point of time. Without even strategizing 😉

    If it makes you happy, I read every word. “Even” back when you were in Korea when you would actually write those really long entries. Allan’s probably silent because of all that discussion of firefighters and the pictures of firefighters.

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